i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Two words: blizzard sex
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
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