So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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