they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
