i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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