I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Randomize
