Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
