Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
