I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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