I have demons in me.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
