...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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