Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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