Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
