I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
