I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
