Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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