Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
