I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
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