Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
