the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Randomize