they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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