Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
