Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
