just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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