Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
