i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
