so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
