I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
