I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Randomize
