she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
