If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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