you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
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