Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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