He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Someone signed my nipple.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
