But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
