Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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