carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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