I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
