He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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