She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
