To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
no. you can't hotbox the world.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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