Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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