is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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