i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
