i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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