i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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