I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
