FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
