everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize