WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
