Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
