I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Randomize
