please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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