Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
