thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
