They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
