My sheets look like a crime scene.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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