I just made out with a guy for $7.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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