You can't motorboat a personality
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
