I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
