This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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