One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
