You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
