The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize