I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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