I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
