...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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