Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
