make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
