Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
