Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
