Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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