Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
